My home state and I have had our fair share of struggles over the years. Like pretty much everyone I knew, I had lived in the same state - and even in the same town - all my life. And, like every small town girl with big dreams (picture: the scene in Beauty and the Beast where Belle is singing dramatically about her provincial life), I imagined the day that I would get the hell out of South Dakota and live the exotic life that I always hoped.
And when the time really did come for me to leave South Dakota, where did I go?
Minnesota.
My four-year stint in Morris for college was followed by brief tenures in Denver and New Orleans before returning to Minneapolis for almost two years... only to move to Sioux Falls and eventually "settle down" in southwestern Minnesota. My little corner of the state is less than 15 miles from the South Dakota state line, and I work in Sioux Falls. So much for leaving South Dakota behind.
And even if I had moved across the country and renounced my home state, I could never leave it completely. It is, after all, where I was born and raised. My parents and grandparents live here; my oldest friends live here. It's in my blood.
My problems with South Dakota didn't really start until I got to college. Sure, I thought that this was not the place for me - South Dakota was too small for the BIG THINGS I was sure to achieve, typical sheltered small-town kid delusions - but I didn't know who I really was yet.
Up until college, I was under the delusion that I was a Republican. Why? Not because I took the time to get to know the candidates and their policies - oh no. Because pretty much everyone around me was Republican (save for just a few dear friends... oh, how I should've listened). So I wore my John Thune shirt with pride and happily voted for Bush/Cheney in our 2004 school mock election. I was a sheep, and I am ashamed. (Luckily, I didn't turn 18 until 2005, so my ignorance never translated to an actual vote. That helps me sleep at night.) Not that being a Republican is a bad thing: truly, I want you to know that is not my opinion. What IS a bad thing is simply choosing your candidates based on the beliefs of those around you without doing any research or giving it any real thought: and that was me in high school.
Attending UMM opened my eyes. It is a small liberal arts school on the plains, and I was suddenly surrounded with people who were actually different than me. I grew up in white conservative Christian America, and I'd never had the chance to meet people of different backgrounds. It was amazing, and it was there that I found that my values did not (and do not) align at all with the Republican Party. And it dawned on me that my values also did not align with the lawmakers of my home state.
South Dakota and I were on the outs for some time. From their abortion laws to their views on same-sex marriage, South Dakota and I could not see eye to eye. And once again, as South Dakota voted overwhelmingly for Donald Trump in the 2016 election (62%, I believe), South Dakota voters and I disagree. Especially with Kristi Noem.
This is not to say that every South Dakotan feels that way: of course not. Many of my dearest South Dakotan friends and family are saddened and dismayed right along with me. This is also not to say that I will write off anyone with a differing opinion. If and when my South Dakota friends and family do not agree with me politically, I love them. I know that they love me. South Dakotans are good people.
The older I grow, the more I have a deep desire to love my state again. I want to be proud of my roots, and for the most part, I am. I am proud to have grown up in a hard-working and loving family that instilled lifelong values in me: work hard, never take anything or anyone for granted, and be kind. BE KIND. If I have learned nothing else in my life, at least I have learned that.
I am so proud of who I come from, but where... that's a work in progress.
The longer I live in the Sioux Falls area, the more optimistic I become. Sioux Falls is filling with passionate people working tirelessly to make this city a beautiful place to live and visit. In the five years that I've been back in the area, I can't tell you how much has changed. Downtown has become a vibrant neighborhood with small shops and restaurants, an uptown area and a riverwalk has developed, and something new and exciting is always coming. Sioux Falls is on its way.
There is a lot I love about my home state. I love the city of Brookings more than I thought possible. I love the state parks and the lakes (go ahead and laugh, Minnesotans, but South Dakota's lakes are something). I love the Black Hills, now more than ever. Contrary to the beliefs of my younger self, I find myself loving the fields and the tractors. I love downtown Sioux Falls. I love my job. Most of all, I love my friends and family. I love the people.
South Dakotans are - honest to God - some of the nicest people you will ever meet. They will always pull over to help you change a tire, and they won't hesitate to invite you in for coffee. They will be the first to smile at you, and they will share whatever they have. And the TRUST. James and I booked a night in a cabin in a South Dakota state park a few years ago, and the check-in process was this: they left the key in the door for us, and we showed up whenever. The check-out process was just the same: we left when we wanted (they asked before noon, but how were they to know?), and we returned the key to its place in the lock. Trust.
Yes, I love South Dakotans. I don't love South Dakota politics, but let's be honest, there's not much to love about politics anywhere right now. But South Dakotans are good people. And that's what I love.
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