Ok, we have to take a quick minute to talk about oldies music.
When I was a preteen in the late 90s, I broke free of my parents' country music ways and started listening to oldies radio. This is where I discovered such beauties as the Beatles, the Hollies, and Simon & Garfunkel (who can still stop my heart). The oldies stations led me to the classic rock stations, where I found David Bowie, the Clash, and Prince. When I got my first car in the early 2000s (my grandma's 1987 Buick Park Avenue), I happily programmed a mix of oldies and classic rock stations into the radio buttons, and that is basically all I listened to from the ages of 11 until I left for college at 18.
 |
| This is me at 15, having just attended a Simon & Garfunkel concert and thrilled out of my mind. |
All was right with the world.
Back then, there was a clear definition between the oldies stations and the classic rock stations. Oldies stations were playing music from the 50s, 60s, and early 70s. The mid- to late 70s and to the late 80s belonged to the classic rock stations. The world made sense.
The other day, I was talking to my brother - a fellow millennial. He told me he was listening to an oldies station and heard 90s music. On the OLDIES station.
WHOA WHOA WHOA.
90s music can't be OLDIES. 90s music is only 30ish years old!
Oh, but do you know what else was 30ish years old when I started listening to it?
70s music.
Ohhhhh boy.
I've been having an awful lot of "gee whiz, that makes me feel old" moments lately, but realizing that songs from my high school days are on the oldies station really makes me feel like death may be imminent.
Here's my proposal:
The Spice Girls and Buddy Holly clearly are not the same genre, so they really should keep their separate radio stations. How about we stick with oldies radio as it was when I was a kid? Chuck Berry, the Supremes, the Beach Boys. Classic rock is AC/DC, Poison, Journey. We'll get some other radio station for the music that comes after: U2, Weezer, Green Day. It used to be called "alternative," but now that it's old, what do we call it? Sad old millennial rock?
Or do I just stop nip my existential crisis in the bud and never listen to the radio again?
