cute shit Phineas says.

Parenthood, man. 

Don't let that sweet face fool you. One second, he was
roaring like a dinosaur. The next, he was kicking me
in the gut.

Phineas will be three in March, and I feel like we're in the trenches. He's this small person with BIG feelings and not quite the words to express them yet. There's a lot of screaming (from him - I'm only screaming on the inside) and a lot of frustrating days. 

Sometimes, though, Phineas will say or do something funny that helps me forget about the bad days. 

Here are some of the things he says. 

TRYING NOT TO GO TO BED

• You're beautiful!
• (pets my hair) I'm comforting!
• Let’s snuggle just a little bit more.

NAMES

• Gramma-rama
• I love Cawwa!

OUT OF THE BLUE

• You're not a monster.
• Your butt is probably tired.
• My bones are crackin!
• Let's do this.
• Thank you for giving me kisses. I love kisses.

NAMES OF THINGS:

• mac 'n roni: macaroni and cheese
• plugger: outlet
• presso: espresso (he likes to pretend to make espresso for James)
• minty: toothpaste
• whisker: whisk
• tormado: tornado/tomato
• bonker: hammer

MISC

• (in reference to farting) My butt burped.
• (in reference to my tattoo) That's your pontoon.
• (gives me the side-eye) What's up with you?
• (while hiking) I'm DOIN' it!
• (what he thinks is a joke) You work at school! Dad works at library! Hehehehehehe!
• (hearing that my dad's combine got fixed) Go farmer Grandpa!
• (hearing James and me talk about parenthood burnout) I’m burned out, too.

Phineas does a lot of things that make us laugh. He eats lemons and limes - just plain. 

He plays the recorder, and he's halfway decent. He loves to sweep with the power sweeper, and he loves to help James cook. He sees pictures of me as a kid and says, "That's Phineas!" He sees pictures of my mom in her 30s and says "that's mama!" He loves animals and is obsessed with spiderwebs. One of the best days of his life was when the garbage man waved at him from the truck. His first multi-syllable word was "brewery." 

Now that Phineas's goofy antics are written down, maybe they'll bring me a bit of joy if I reread them on a bad day. Just writing this after a bad week made me smile. These kinds of things are hard to remember in the moment, but hopefully I will remember that they are there.

sexist jewelry store ads: a rant.

My least favorite store is one I have never been in.

It's a jewelry store in Brookings called Wink's.

According to their website, it's been in Brookings for 60+ years. From what I have heard, the original owner (whose last name was Winkelman) was a gem. (Get it? Gem?) But the guy who bought it in the 80s? Not so much.

There are a few stories floating around about that guy, and they all revolve around how much one is willing to spend on jewelry. For example: a guy came in looking for a gift for his wife. When he was shown only items outside his budget, he asked to look at something less expensive. The owner said, "Well, why don't you just take her to McDonald's, then, and be done with it?"

I have never set foot in Wink's because of these stories - my dad has a similar one, so their bad attitude has gone down in Bjorklund family history. Whenever we go to Nick's Hamburgers (which is located just around the corner from Wink's), we all make a point to park in front of Wink's. Dad calls it his "tiny rebellion" - taking up that parking space might make it that much more difficult for business. Maybe, maybe not, but it makes us feel good.

What really gets me, though, is their advertising.

I have never seen a SINGLE ad of theirs that isn't completely sexist. Only in recent years have I begun to document them, but the true number of these bullshit ads far exceeds my photographic evidence.

A while ago, I wrote an essay about my wedding ring and how the size of the stone in no way represents James's love for me. Wink's very clearly operates on that premise. 

Makepeace in Watertown is no different. I think they must use the same ad agency as Wink's. 

Every one of the ads from these two stores operates on the same premise: men are dumb and constantly need to get out of "trouble," and buying a woman jewelry will solve everything and give said man a free pass to do anything. 

I'll let the gallery speak for itself:

(you can tell which ones are Wink's ads because I'm flipping them off)

I also distinctly remember another Wink's ad that said something like "your daughter shouldn't have a bigger ring than your wife."

Ick.

Now, I do feel a little bit bad hating on these stores because they are small businesses. I am a supporter of shopping small and shopping local. 

However.

Being a small business is no excuse for being horribly sexist and outdated.

There are plenty of jewelers who are small business owners and do not have sexist ads. Should I be in the market for fine jewelry (which, let's be honest, will probably be never), I'll choose one of those.