I have a weakness for McDonald’s breakfast.
Believe me when I tell you that there are very few things at
McDonald’s that I want to eat. Their fries? Sure. A McDouble? Once in a while.
But I will gladly stay away from everything else on the menu.
Except for their breakfast.
For years, fast food breakfast meant that something exciting
was going to happen. If I was going to spend the day with my grandparents in
Watertown, our first stop would be McDonald’s or Hardee’s breakfast. If I was
going on a road trip with my family, McDonald’s breakfast would always kick it
off.
When it comes to fast food, I tend to find one or two things
that I like and stick with them. As you well know, fast food is a series of
hits and misses – I have found that the misses outnumber the hits. Therefore,
if I like the ham and cheese sandwich at Hardee’s, I will probably order just
that for the rest of time.
McDonald’s breakfast was no exception. With the exception of
the single time I tried a McGriddle (never again), I would always order a
sausage egg McMuffin. I wasn’t too fond of the gelatinous egg patty, but who
is? McDonald’s eggs are WEIRD: perfectly circular with the consistency of
rubber and never completely cooked through. However, I was willing to suffer
through it for the sake of eating the sausage. I did go through a brief period
when would ask for a folded egg (like they have on the McGriddles) instead, as
the folded eggs were at least thoroughly cooked. My folded egg phase didn’t
last long because it was a.) too much hassle, and b.) not very tasty either.
It didn’t occur to me until many years later that I could
just order a sausage McMuffin and skip the egg altogether.
Life really got grand when I began to enjoy espresso drinks.
Before the advent of McCafe, I ordered milk to go with my McMuffin. Like
everything McDonald’s offers, the McMuffins are quite salty. One little
kid-sized bottle of milk just didn’t cut it. So I moved on to McCafe. The
McCafe drinks can be a hit or a miss, depending on whether or not the staff
knows what they’re doing. I’ve had a few drinks where they forget to put the
coffee in altogether.
If you decide to venture into the world of McCafe, be aware
that it’s no Caribou or Starbucks. That said, stay away from the flavored
lattes and frappes: they’re so sweet that my teeth hurt just thinking about
them. Your best bet is a plain old mocha. They’re hard to screw up, and
somehow, McDonald’s manages not to overdo it on the chocolate syrup. (However,
they do tend to smear chocolate syrup all over the sides of the cup, so
beware.)
I’ve lived in Luverne for almost two years now, and my
consumption of McDonald’s breakfast has drastically increased in that time. After
all, my commute to work is four times as long as it was when I lived in Sioux
Falls, so I have to eat breakfast that much earlier. If I were to have my
pre-Luverne usual breakfast (a glass of Instant Breakfast), it would wear off
less than an hour after my workday begins. I needed something with a little
more substance, so my breakfasts now tend to involve something with protein
that I can microwave and eat in the car.
As much as I would like to eat McDonald’s breakfast every
single morning, I restrain myself. I only get McDonald’s breakfast on mornings
when I need it most, like when I’m working on a Saturday. I am unfortunate to
have a stomach that growls when I’m getting hungry, but McDonald’s breakfast
can save me from that particular embarrassment. If I have some kind of meeting
or training or will be somewhere quiet around the time my stomach would start
growling, I take preventative measures and eat McDonald’s for breakfast. That
will keep my stomach quiet until at least noon.
Sadly for me and my propensity for breakfast, the McDonald’s
in Luverne is TERRIBLE. They have the slowest drive-through of any fast-food
restaurant in existence: if there is one car in the drive-through line ahead of
me, I can be reasonably certain that I won’t get out of there for another ten
minutes. The person who works at the first drive-through window is one of my
least favorite human beings ever. She’s ALWAYS working the drive-through, and
when I pull up and place my order, it’s followed by an inevitable “uh… what?” I
order my sandwich, and nine times out of ten, she’ll type the wrong thing.
(Thank goodness for those display screens.) “So… you want a burrito?” “No, a
sausage McMuffin.” “An egg McMuffin?” “A sausage McMuffin.” “A sausage egg
McMuffin?” “A SAUSAGE MCMUFFIN.”
And you can imagine the rigmarole when I ask for skim milk
in my mocha.
But I’m willing to forgive all that – not because I’m a
particularly kind and understanding person, but because McDonald’s is my only
option in Luverne. So I will continue suffering through the infernal Luverne
drive-through to get my sausage McMuffin. Beggars cannot be choosers, after
all, and anything is better than my stomach growling.
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