saying goodbye to Donaldson Street.

On Christmas Day, James and I drove over to our very first home to say goodbye. 

This was not the first place we lived together. James and I shared two shitty apartments in Minneapolis and one shitty apartment in Sioux Falls before getting married and moving to Luverne. But our little house on Donaldson Street was our first home.

A little background:

James and I started dating when we were juniors in college, and I graduated a year before he did (as he had a fifth year to complete for his teaching license). When James graduated, he took the first teaching job he could find: as the band director in tiny Ellsworth, Minnesota. During James's first year, I continued to live in Minneapolis, and we did the miserable long-distance thing. The following year, I got a job in Sioux Falls (still an hour away from James), and we continued long-distance (though not as long). The year after that, James moved in with me in Sioux Falls. We were finally together, but his commute was miserable. A compromise had to be reached.

We chose to live in the closest thing to the middle as we could find: Luverne, Minnesota. With a population of nearly 5000, Luverne promised a bit of civilization. It was 20 minutes from Ellsworth and 35 minutes from Sioux Falls, so it was a reasonable commute for both of us. Plus, we were not making much money at the time, and Luverne offered affordable housing.

James talked me into buying a house versus renting an apartment, and I conceded... mostly because I really wanted a cat and did NOT want to pay a pet fee. Though we struggled through a not-so-great realtor (he took us to look at a house that was NOT ACTUALLY FOR SALE, and we walked in on a very confused family having dinner), we ended up choosing a charming little starter home on a corner lot. The home had been a flip, so it was a fresh start for all of us.

We closed on our house on July 29, 2013: two days after our wedding.

We had postponed our honeymoon road trip to Canada so we could close on the house, and we took off for Canada before the ink was dry on the paperwork. Upon return, my sainted family helped us move in. We had a home.

As previously mentioned, James and I were not making a great deal of money at the time. We were able to come up with a down payment thanks to years of my scrounging dollars here and there into a savings account. We were able to buy appliances (of which the house had NONE) thanks to our recent wedding and the monetary gifts we received because of it. We had to save up for curtains (who knew curtains were so expensive?!) and live with the gouged paint and the mismatched furniture. 

The years went by, and we made the house our own. We planted flowers, installed a Little Free Library, did some landscaping, slowly replaced the furniture, repainted, and got new flooring. Like goldfish, we grew to fit our new space.

We established traditions in this house. We hosted Thanksgiving 2013, and we have hosted every Thanksgiving since.

Thanksgiving 2013

Thanksgiving 2019

The first Norwegian Christmas was also in 2013, which continues every December to this day.

Norwegian Christmas 2013

Norwegian Christmas 2019

Our house on Donaldson Street was filled with memories, but by 2019, the time had come to find something else. There was no denying we had outgrown our charming little place. We began looking for a new home in or around Luverne. By fall 2019, James had started his job as the high school band director in Luverne, and I was a year-and-a-half in to my job as the library director of the library in Luverne. So we had some serious roots laid down in Luverne.

After a false start with an acreage that summer, James and I signed papers for our dream home in early November.

We had an amazing realtor this time around, and our home on Donaldson Street had a "sale pending" sign just days before we closed on our new home. 

James and I had about a month and a half in between the closing of each home, which allowed us some much-needed time to get everything out of one and into the other. But on Christmas Day, as we stood in our now-empty first home on Donaldson Street, the memories came flooding back.

That was our very first home.

That was the place I dragged my weary ass back to after countless trips, including New Orleans, San Francisco, Maine, Iceland, Germany, Denmark, Jamaica, Colorado, the Apostle Islands, and so many other places. 

We raised three kittens (now cats) in that house.

James and I both made major life choices by switching jobs while in that house.

We learned how to successfully get bats out of that house. 

I started my small business in that house.

We found out we were going to be parents in that house.

I started and finished a masters degree in that house.

We laughed and cried in that house. We felt the deepest desperation and the greatest joy in that house.

I grew into who I am in that house.

We're going to miss it so much.

Our future is bright in our new home. This new home is where we will bring our new son in April. This is where we'll learn how to be parents. Our new home has already been filled with joy and love, and that shows no signs of stopping. 

We are absolutely in love with our new home, but we will never forget our little place on Donaldson Street.

Christmas songs for Grinches.

Christmas time is upon us - it’s been upon us for quite a while, actually. That’s great for some people, but not me.

Because I’m a Grinch.

And I’m fine with it.

One of the hardest things for us Grinches is the onslaught of Christmas music. It’s everywhere. I’m sure your non-Grinch coworkers play it at work. It’s constantly on the radio. It’s being hummed by your loved ones. It’s piped loudly through every store speaker system. 

It’s too much.

So I’d like to present a list of not-so-saccharine Christmas songs for my fellow Scrooges. May we get through the holidays in one piece.

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

An obvious first choice. This song, as you no doubt know, is all about how the Grinch is terrible. The song is a gem, but my favourite line is:

“The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:

Stink, stank, stunk!”

Father Christmas

This one may be less familiar to you, but it’s a Christmas song by the Kinks. It’s the best kind of Christmas song: irreverent with a touch of social commentary. The song asks not for toys, but for a job for someone’s dad. The chorus includes the line: “give all the toys to the little rich boys.” It’s an observation on the inherently classist nature of Christmas, with the less well-off families wishing for money and jobs instead of silly toys. One of the last lines goes:

“Have yourselves a very merry Christmas. 

Have yourselves a good time.

But remember the kids who’ve got nothing

While you’re drinking down your wine.”

Blue Christmas

An Elvis classic. It’s about Elvis having a blue Christmas (as opposed to the reds, greens, whites, and golds of a happier Christmas) as, presumably, a freshly single guy. Christmas can sure be a bummer, and this song captures it well.

Christmastime Is Here

We’ve all seen A Charlie Brown Christmas, and this song is instantly recognizable. It’s one of the few Christmas songs in a minor key, and minor keys are inherently sad. The second I hear this song, I can instantly picture Charlie Brown hanging his head. Or, if you’re a fellow Arrested Development fan, George Michael hanging his head.

Last Christmas

Speaking of George Michael, “Last Christmas” is a more recent favourite of mine. Like “Blue Christmas,” it’s a breakup song. And I don’t know about you, but I can’t resist a Wham! breakup song. The person in question was given George Michael’s heart on Christmas, but “the very next day, [you] gave it away.” That’s a real jerk.

Silver Bells 

This is not the “Silver Bells” with which you may be familiar. Oh no. This is a special Saturday Night Live Paul Simon/Steve Martin version. While Paul Simon gently sings “Silver Bells” in the background, Steve Martin speaks about what Christmas means to him. A sampling:

“[Christmas is] a time for giving your wife that special coat she always wanted. Those seals didn't need their fur anyway. What do they want it for? They're dead already.”

Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy

Finally, we come to my favourite Christmas song of all: David Bowie and Bing Crosby’s “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy.” On the surface, it’s the closest thing to a real Christmas song I have on this list. And that’s true: it’s not “Little Drummer Boy” that packs the punch in this song. David Bowie sings the song “Peace on Earth,” which addresses the issue of (you guessed it) peace on earth and why we as a human race have not managed to achieve it yet: “Peace on Earth… can it be? Years from now, perhaps we’ll see.” The song ends with Bowie and Crosby asking: “Peace on earth… can it be? Can it be?” So far, sadly, the answer is no.

Whether you’re a full-on Buddy the elf-type or a Scrooge like me, I hope you have a great Christmas. It can be a lot of fun… if you don’t shoot your eye out, kid.

Bah humbug.

we live in a haunted house.

Our new house is totally haunted.

It was built in 1903, so how could it not be?

We moved into our new house in mid-November, fully aware of its age and general spookiness. But that’s what we wanted: a house with character. A house with character is certainly what we got.

On the very first night we were there, a light in the upstairs hallway turned itself off.

(“Old house, old wiring,” you say. But the wiring has all been replaced.)

The jets in the jacuzzi tub keep coming on by themselves.

(I asked the ghost to please stop doing that because it was scaring the cats, and it actually worked for a few days.)

The door to the attic began rattling in the wee hours of the morning. This happened the first night we put a cat tower in front of the door. I thought it was because there was a draft coming out of the attic, but after an inspection, James informed me there were no drafts in the attic.

Things will randomly fall off shelves and walls. Did the cats do it? No - because the spots things fall from are too high for the cats to reach.

We’ll hear thudding and footsteps from upstairs when we are both downstairs - and all three cats are, as well.

(Speaking of cats, theory has it animals and children are more connected to the “other world” than we are. The cats will randomly bush up their tails and stare into space. Take that however you will.)

When you think you have a ghost, you'll start hearing all sorts of odd noises that you're quick to blame on the spirit. I swore I heard our front door slam in the middle of the night, but we do have a storm door not prone to latching securely. The spooky clanging? Our old radiators. But we can't explain everything away, as hard as my logical brain is trying.

We are also getting all sorts of confirmation from the community that we're not crazy. My brother’s girlfriend works at Caribou in Aberdeen, South Dakota, and she was talking to a new coworker not too long ago. It turns out this new coworker of hers is the daughter of the people who owned our house for 20 years, and she lived there all her life! She loved that house, and “it’s totally haunted,” she said. Apparently, the haunting started after the kids left for college.

We had our friend Cody over to see the house one evening, and the jacuzzi jets turned on just as we were talking about the house being haunted. He left immediately and came back with some sage for us. Cody talked to some of his friends in town later on about this phenomenon, and those friends called the owners to ask if they'd experienced anything similar. Sure enough, they had. They heard the jets turning on quite often and a few other odd noises and flickering lights. However, the spookiest thing that happened to them was that they'd put a desk up against a window seat... only to find the desk across the room later that evening. The previous owner's words of advice were to talk to the ghost and let him/her know who we are and what we expect. She told the ghost they were leaving and to be nice to the people moving in.

I have never lived in a haunted house before, so I’m not sure about the ghost vs living protocol. Obviously, the ghost has been here much longer than we have. The ghost doesn’t feel like a malevolent presence - just a spirit letting us know it’s there. 

James has done a little research into the history of our house, and he learned two sisters lived there for some time. They never married, and they turned their home into a boarding house for high schoolers who lived in the country and wanted to go to school in town (there was no transportation to town back then). The sisters lived in the house until they died, leading James to believe the ghost is likely one of the sisters. We’re calling her Agnes - the sister who lived longer.

James and I burned the sage last night, taking special care around the jacuzzi tub and attic door. The process felt quite sacred, and we spoke to our spirit as we proceeded through the house. We told the spirit they were welcome to stay if they wished, but we were burning sage in an effort to open doors between worlds if they were in fact stuck here and wished to move on. It's too soon to tell if it worked, but I will keep you posted.

Just in case the sage didn't do its job, if you have any advice about how to live peacefully with a ghost, we’d like to hear it. So far, Agnes seems to be ok with us. We’d like to keep it that way.