Gen Z and millennial fashion battle.

You know how you get suggestions for articles to read when you open up your internet browser? Well, the other day, Google "suggested" I read this article from The New York Times containing advice from Gen Z to millennials (my generation) on how to dress.

To Google, I say: fuck off.

Of course I read the article.

It's called "Millennials Don't Know What to Wear. Gen Z Has Thoughts."

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/01/style/millennial-style-gen-z-trends.html

I was aware of some of these things. I knew skinny jeans and the side part are out, and I recently learned the French tuck (where you tuck just the front of your top into your pants) is no longer fashionable. This article taught me my ankle booties are out, too. And probably my hats (there's a line between just-ride-wide brim and too wide.) And crossbody bags. And no-show socks. Gen Z wants to see your socks.

Here I am committing a multitude of fashion sins: a side part, a French
tuck, skinny jeans, and ankle boots. I'm not sorry.

What is more baffling to me is not necessarily what is out, but what is IN. In this article, Gen Z suggested these looks:

feathers (seriously)

crew socks (think dads in shorts on vacation)

crop tops everywhere

wide-leg jeans (been there, done that)

pointy-toe boots (see above)

cargo pants

turtlenecks (noooooooooo)

And the most offensive of all: low rise jeans.

The article said, "Not too low - a seven or eight inch rise."

Uh, no.

My jeans must be 11 inches or higher.

I'M NEVER GOING BACK.

We millennials have already lived through the horrors of low-rise jeans: the constant muffin top no matter how much you weigh, always having to hold up your pants when you bend down because your butt would 100% be hanging out if you didn't, making sure your shirts were long enough so you didn't have a plumber crack when you sat down... it was awful. 

Look at my teeny tiny brother and me circa 2007. This is a pair of horrendously low-rise jeans.
I have three shirts on and you can see my skin is still visible, belt be damned.

Another example of low-rise jeans, but from the front. Look at that ridiculously short fly. Low-rise jeans also had the world's tiniest pockets. It was practically criminal.

I am not ashamed to admit I had to ask Google where Gen Z shops, and it turns out when they're not thrift shopping, they shop in the same exact places I shopped when I was their age: American Eagle, Forever 21, H&M. I visited their websites and saw that ALL THREE of them are still offering not only skinny jeans, but high-rise jeans. 

The one thing I do agree with Gen Z fashion-wise is thrift shopping. They are recycling a lot of weird 25-year-old clothes that I probably wore when they were new, but that's cool for them. I don't know a lot of people who are going to fight them for it.

Here's the moral of this story: Gen Z, millennials don't give a shit what you think of how we dress. We're going to hang onto our ankle boots and crossbody bags as long as we feel like. 

We also don't really care what you're wearing, except the true feeling of being elderly enough that fashions from our youth have come back to haunt us. We see the butterfly clips and bucket hats returning and shudder.

No matter what you are wearing at any given time, there's someone out there you thinks you look stupid. But there's also someone out there who thinks you look spectacular. And you know what? In 10 or so years, everything any of us is wearing today will look stupid. 

We're all in this together.