20 years: a love story.

Twenty years ago today, I did something that would effectively lay out the road map for my life.

Without this single event, literally (yes, LITERALLY) nothing about my life would be the same.

Twenty years ago today, I visited the University of Minnesota, Morris.

Today is Indigenous Peoples Day. Growing up in South Dakota, it was considered a holiday - no school for me and no work for my mom (a state employee).  Indigenous Peoples Day is not a federal holiday, so it's up to the state whether to call it a holiday. Minnesota certainly acknowledges the day, but does not consider it a holiday. 

That's how my mom and I ended up using our day off to make the college in the middle-of-nowhere Minnesota. It was the perfect day to visit so I didn't have to miss school (nerd alert: I hated missing school) and the college was in fully swing so I could see everything in action.

I really had no interest in UMM. I had toured Gustavus Adolphus in St Peter, and I thought it was great. (Thinking back to that, I cannot remember why I thought that except that the cafeteria seemed to have a respectable amount of options.) I was going to go there, so really, why bother?

My only college visits had been to two private schools - Gustavus and Concordia. I only toured Gustavus probably because I liked the fancy name and because my parents said we could make a weekend out of it and go to the Spam Museum as well. (Air-tight reasons.) Concordia had not impressed me because of a.) the curfew (I didn't have a curfew in high school; why should I have one on college?) and b.) no boys allowed in girls' dorms. I know what you're thinking - but it's because my high school best friend was a boy named Bob and where was he supposed to sleep when he came to visit? We had sleepovers at my house in high school, for cripes sake. (The most chaste sleepovers you can ever imagine. That dear friend Bob has been married to Luke for nearly 15 years now.)

A note about the private schools: they were/are run by churches. What I didn't realize was, at the time, church was mandatory. I was already a reluctant churchgoer (my parents made me go, UGHHH) and was looking forward to the freedom to not go. My parents almost certainly caught this piece of information. That, along with the restrictive curfew and old-fashioned girl/boy rules, would have been a major glitch in my college experience, and my parents knew it. You're supposed to go to college and have MORE freedom than you did while you lived with your parents, not LESS.

That could be why my parents really thought I should at least visit UMM. UMM was a rare breed at the time: a public liberal arts school. It checked the boxes: liberal arts, small-ish, located in a different state than my family (love you guys). This one just wasn't private. I'm not sure how they heard of UMM or what they knew about it that I didn't, but they definitely knew something.

So we went. Typical eldest daughter; I wanted to make my parents happy. 

But the joke was on me. The second I set foot on that campus, I knew I was going to college here. I have no other way to explain it than an immediate and deep sense of belonging. It was true love.

I couldn't tell you a single other thing about that day. I'm sure the admissions person was very nice, and I'm sure the student tour guide did an excellent job. All I knew is this was the place for me.

Later on, it would hit me that UMM was the complete opposite of the other places I'd visited. Not only were there no rules about boys visiting girls rooms, but the dorm floors were actually co-ed. My neighbors on either side of my freshman dorm room were dudes. No curfew. Friends/family visiting from off-campus didn't have to register anywhere. 

Best of all? People were different. 

At these other colleges, I saw a lot of blondes wearing polos and khakis. Or jeans with the sparkly butts. Basically, they looked like my high school. At UMM, I saw everyone. From fairy wings as everyday clothing to boys with long hair (GASP) to waist-length vintage leather jackets, I saw outfits and looks that I would absolutely never ever see in my hometown. 

So many of the people I saw looked different than me. It was wonderful. It was also immediately clear to me (the fairy wings were the major tip-off) you could be your unapologetic self here. That's precisely the university I wanted/needed to attend.

It was probably a mystical combination of these amazing traits that materialized to give me that feeling of home, that feeling of fuzzy goodness, the feeling of "I don't need to go any farther; where do I sign?" I don't believe in love at first sight, but this? This was love at first footstep.

As for my life trajectory, here's how that goes:

meet James -> graduate UMM with BAs in English and Art History (all you people with "you can't get a job with an English and/or Art History degree" people can shove it) -> move to Sioux Falls post-graduation because he's there-ish -> get a job in a library -> whoops I accidentally found my career -> marry James -> move to Luverne so James and I can commute from a middle ground -> start a Masters program in library science -> get the library director position in Rock County -> finish my Masters -> have Phineas -> make amazing friends in Rock County -> have Robin -> continue on in my dream job.

Without that visit to UMM - none of that.

My children owe their very lives to that institution. Honestly, my parents probably owe UMM a debt of gratitude as well. It wasn't until fairly recently I rescinded my ban on having children. I only did it because James would be the other half of the team, if if you've met that guy, you know he's made to be a dad. I have never seen my parents happier than when they are with their grandkids, and they probably wouldn't have gotten any if I had not met James at UMM.

It's true that tons of people meet their significant others at college and their children also owe their lives to whatever place that is. What is stands out to me is that not only did I find someone who wanted to hang out with me for the foreseeable future, UMM also blazed the trail for my career - a roundabout trail, but a trail nonetheless. How many of us actually find our dream jobs? BIG thank you for that, UMM.

Here's the first picture that exists of me as a UMM student:

Move-in day 2005. Look at those tiny babies.
I have a nine-year-old post about move-in day here:
https://callagator.blogspot.com/2015/10/flashback-move-in-day-at-umm.html

And here's one of the last:

A million things in between are missing: the band and jazz band concerts, late nights at the newspaper, the dorms (good, bad, ugly) hours of research papers, my first boyfriend, my second (and last) boyfriend, zombie proms, working at the local coffee shop, the best classes (a tie between Women in Art and Literature of the Shoah), the worst classes (I'm looking right at you, Stars and the Universe - the old bait and switch giving a fun-sounding name to a terrible class),  my and my friend's crappy radio show, house parties, some tough life lessons, and some of the best friends I'll ever have. 

Happy anniversary, UMM. It's been 20 years since we met, but I love you like it was just yesterday.