the problem with TV series.

I have a serious question for you.

Why do TV series so rarely end well?

I don't mean "well" as in "ended well for the characters," but as in "provided a satisfying ending to years of plot twists and character development."

I have been thinking about this a lot lately (thanks, insomnia), and I can only think of TWO.

But I'll get to that later.

There are SO many TV series that I started and just LOOOOVED. I was obsessed. But then... THEN. Something always happens to curb my interest. Not life stuff, but something in the series changes. Sometimes it's imperceptible, but other times, I can see a clear change. 

Allow me to provide you with some examples, in order from longest ago to most recent. I have divided them into two sections: the series that I never finished and the series that I had to force myself to finish.

NEVER FINISHED

(HERE THERE BE SPOILERS.)

Scrubs

Scrubs is the first TV series I can really remember being invested in. It's the first show I would call a "dramedy" and the first half-hour sitcom-type thing with no laugh track. (I have a major thing against laugh tracks.) I loved how raw it was. It was (to me) the first of its kind. I lost interest when it outlived its prime. Dr. Cox (who was never a great character anyway) become absolutely intolerable, and it seemed there was no great plot any more. The last thing I remember is JD was having a baby with a one-night-stand? Maybe? 

Weeds

Here's an example of "I just lost interest." This was back in the days when we had to wait a week in between episodes (aka the Dark Ages), and if we weren't around to watch it live, we had to set a VCR timer to record it. I think I lost track of when it was on and never caught up.

Big Love

The premise is interesting, right? How a Fundamentalist Mormon secretly keeps a family of three wives and a bunch of kids running? I was into it for a while, but then there was this sub-plot that I couldn't keep up with about the Mormon mafia (??) - and there were so many white guys with the same haircut and the same suit, and I could never remember who was who. Also: see VCR timer above.

The Office

You will be hard-pressed to find someone who didn't watch at least a little bit of The Office. I have tried time and time again to finish it, but I always burn out. First of all, it will never be The Office without Michael Scott, so let's not even go there. Also, unpopular opinion alert: Jim Halpert is a shitty husband and dad and Pam would be better off without him. Finally, Dwight gets too... Dwight. You know what I mean.

Modern Family

Modern Family was a great love of mine for a long time. Like six seasons' worth. And then things stopped happening. It didn't get bad; it just got complacent. It was so successful for so long, and it seems like they just rode that wave into way more seasons than necessary.

Parks and Rec

As a government employee, Parks and Rec GETS me. As a librarian, it delights me to no end to be labeled a "punk-ass book jockey." Like The Office, I have tried multiple times to finish Parks and Rec, but I can't do it. I can only ever get as far as Ron Swanson and Leslie Knope becoming enemies. That just can't BE. 

The Big Bang Theory

I would like you to know I watched The Big Bang Theory before it was cool. When it first started, I loved it so much. I thought it was so clever, and I was even willing to overlook the laugh track. I LOVE a good sexual tension will-they-won't-they story line, so for me, it was all over when Leonard and Penny actually got together. I had my foot out the door when Amy Farrah Fowler entered the picture, and I found her impossible. When I later read that she and Sheldon end up falling in love and whatever, I got irrationally angry. Sheldon spent all one million seasons being asexual, so why did that need to change? The world didn't need another trite love story.

New Girl

Speaking of trite love stories, I present: New Girl. Truly one of the most clever shows I have seen in some time. I have a friend who reminds me so much of Nick, and my living situation in college was not dissimilar to this (except with a much shittier house). I loved it because I could relate. I loved True American. I loved Winston and Ferguson. I loved/hated Schmidt (as we all should). I threatened to institute a Douche Jar at our house (for James, obviously). I saw myself a little bit in Nick. (Mostly his turtle face.) It wounded me deeply when I felt that tiny twinge: that unmistakable message from my dumb brain that something had changed. It happened during the season where Zooey Deschanel was pregnant, so they made up this dumb excuse about her being on a sequestered jury. Things got a little out of hand. Schmitt and Cece got married - that relationship was SO much better when Cece was ashamed of Schmitt. So I stopped watching before it could disappoint me further. Whatever happens, I hope Winston and Ferguson are happy.

Arrested Development

This is in a weird limbo - I have watched the original three seasons over and over (as they are nothing short of genius), but I have never been able to suffer through the Netflix seasons that came years after. So does this count or not?

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt 

What an incredibly promising premise. A girl is trapped in an underground bunker for years by a religious cult leader, is rescued, and has to learn how to live in the modern world. I loved the first season (mostly thanks to Titus), but everything that came after fell flat. But the theme song? The best.

Broad City 

Broad City is one of my favourite series of all time. It is SO clever, and Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer are a dream team. It aired on Comedy Central, but I watched it on Hulu. There are only five seasons, and it took Hulu ages to get season 5 on the platform. Actually, I don't know if they ever did. I waited and waited and waited... and then forgot about it. Broad City, I'll be back for you someday.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 

Yet another show with a pretty brilliant premise. This is basically a musical with some incredibly talented singers and songwriters, and it can be pretty hilarious. It's about a super sad lawyer from New York who moves to a town in the middle of nowhere California because she's suddenly in love with her ex-boyfriend from high school summer camp. The first few seasons are great, but then the music becomes less of a focus and things get a little out-of-hand (like suddenly the lawyer owns a pretzel shop? did I miss something), and then I gave up.

Schitt's Creek 

Schitt's Creek is THE show of the moment, so I might get on your schitt list for saying this - but I cannot finish this show. I was SO into it for the first few seasons... and what changed for me was Patrick. Patrick is boring and smarmy and David could do so much better. And then you put Patrick and Stevie together and their mood is just too much. I keep hearing all these amazing things about the series finale, but you guys... I just CAN'T.

Fargo

Fargo is the most recent of the TV series I've given up on. It's four seasons long, and each season features a totally new cast of characters and a plot that is very thinly connected to previous plots. It's a cool concept, but it does take a little time to become attached to new characters every time. I watched three out of four seasons, and I have up on the fourth one because it's set in Kansas City. The other three are set in Minnesota. The Minnesota setting is the big appeal. I love you, Kansas City, but sorry.

STRUGGLED BUT DID

(HERE THERE BE EVEN BIGGER SPOILERS.)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Ohh, Buffy. With Arrested Development, it's my favourite series ever. Buffy was truly incredible, with an amazing story and an amazing cast of heroes and villains. Giles the librarian is my role model, obviously. Buffy held strong through the end of season 5, which is the most heart-breaking season finale of all time. (Fight me.) It would have been a glorious ending. But here comes season 6. Buffy's well-meaning friends bring her back to life, and things aren't right. We have to spend a LOT of time with Buffy's sister Dawn (the worst character in the Buffy universe - fight me), and there's a weird affair with Spike that should probably have been left alone. Season six does have the musical episode and Evil Willow, so there are redeeming qualities. However, season seven is a dumpster fire. There's some nonsense with a bunch of baby slayers and Spike as Jesus (or something), and honestly, I've chosen to forget most of it. I prefer to pretend season seven never happened. 

Dexter 

Dexter is eight seasons long, but there is a clear dividing line right down the middle when it all goes wrong. Dexter is so clever and enthralling up through the Trinity Killer (John Lithgow OMG), but then Dexter goes off the rails. He starts telling like EVERYONE that he kills people, his sister falls in love with him (gross) and also starts killing people, and he somehow fucking ESCAPES and goes to live as a lumberjack? Um, NO. When my brother started watching Dexter, I had finished the series. I told him, "Whatever you do, STOP at the end of season four. You're going to want to continue, but you CAN'T. Don't ruin the magic!" Mitch heeded my advice and never watched the rest, and to him, Dexter is still good.

Breaking Bad

Ok, it's been so long since I've watched Breaking Bad, I have to admit: I don't actually remember how it ends. I remember there was something we all thought was the end, but then it came back for half a season or something like that? All I can remember is when it ended, I thought... "Huh. Well, that was disappointing." I also remember wondering why it didn't just end with Gustavo, because that would have been brilliant.

How I Met Your Mother

This show started off being super endearing, but I got tired of it pretty fast - and it's all because of Barney being such a douche-bro. This is the last of the sitcoms I watched that worked sooooo hard on developing catchphrases, and it was such a tired gimmick by then. I somehow made it through this entire series, only to reach the end and find out the mom was dead the whole time and she only was in like two minutes of this whole incredibly long series and what have I been doing with my life?

Girls 

Remember Girls? It was billed as Sex and the City for twentysomethings? And it kind of was. I really liked it, even though (much like Gossip Girl) the characters were all terrible people. They were at least a little endearing. It seems like the final season of so many of these shows is such a departure from the trajectory of the rest of the series that we've come to know and love, and Girls is no exception. Hannah gets pregnant by a random guy (not Adam, whom she's been perusing for basically the whole series) and decides to raise the baby by herself somewhere in upstate New York after getting a job as a college professor even though she's not remotely qualified. It's like Lena Dunham was just ready to be done with the series and quick wrote up some way to tie it all up, even though it wasn't true to the characters or the plot. See also: Game of Thrones.

Orange Is the New Black

Oh my goodness, I was obsessed with Orange Is the New Black. What an incredible cast and plot. I was invested in every single second and in every single person. I loved the backstories; I loved getting to know the characters beyond their prison personas. It was so good for so long, and it threw in real heartbreak. Then there was the season where the whole thing was the prison riot, which was ok... and the following season where I lost interest. Piper become more intolerable the longer the series went on, and I was honestly kind of bummed that she got her happy ending when so many others didn't.

Gossip Girl

I started watching Gossip Girl during a blizzard when I had nothing better to do. It was strangely addicting and got me through countless craft projects when I was too poor to buy actual home decor. I kind of hated myself for watching this, and I am kind of embarrassed to admit it to you now. Every single one of the characters is a horrific person, and you don't want to root for any of them. The longer it goes on, the worse they all get... and they all get happy endings that they absolutely do not deserve. And Dan is Gossip Girl? Fucking DAN?? PLEASE.

Game of Thrones

I am not the only one to be wildly disappointed by the ending of Game of Thrones. Watching Game of Thrones from beginning to end is true dedication. There are eight seasons of hour (or more) long episodes with viewers often having to wait more than a year in between seasons. The attention to detail was immaculate, and the writers spent so much time on the character's plotlines. But then - the TV series got ahead of George R. R. Martin's books. Things were still ok until we got to the very last season. It had its moments (Arya v Night King), but it seemed like they were in a hurry to wrap things up and just fast-forwarded everything. Daenerys had been the center of this show for years, and then suddenly she was evil. Yes, we had hints leading up to this, but it was like a switch just flipped. Everything was so rushed. And of all the people to be the king... Bran? Fucking BRAN?? PLEASE.

Bojack Horseman

Bojack Horseman is a hard-hitter. This is one of those shows that knows exactly how to punch you in the gut and keep you coming back for more. It deals with depression and imposter syndrome flawlessly, and one of the most beautiful episodes has almost no dialogue. The whole series was dark, but the last season seemed to give up on any sort of comedy and just went full doom and gloom. I think we all wanted Bojack and Diane to come out ok, but the way this ended just made me feel empty.

Transparent

Transparent was hitting it out of the park from episode one. It was so timely and gut-wrenching and thought-provoking. AND THEN Jeffrey Tambor ended up being a sexually assaulting asshole, and the Transparent world crumbled. The final season ended up being one long musical number, and it was truly one of the worst series finales I've ever seen.

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After thinking long and hard, the only two series I can think of that ended well are Fleabag and Catastrophe, both Amazon Prime projects. Fleabag is absolute perfection: it rips your heart out, stomps on it, and leaves you begging for more. Catastrophe is a very real look at marriage and parenting and all the mess that comes with it. The secret to their success? They are SHORT. Fleabag is two seasons of six 30-minute episodes apiece. Catastrophe is four seasons of six 30-minute episodes. They don't overstay their welcome. They quit while they were ahead. And I love them for it.

I am a huge fan of the mini-series. They are typically good all the way through, as they have a clear end. No room for the long, slow death of the regular series. Movies based on books never live up to the hype, but mini-series are longer and have more time to flesh out the characters and plot. I find they are often quite worthy of the books on which they were based. Some truly fabulous mini-series I have seen in the recent past include The Queen's Gambit, Sharp Objects, The Act, Little Fires Everywhere, You, Waco, Unorthodox, Ratched, and Big Little Lies.

I do have a few series I am still watching that currently have new seasons in production, so there is still hope of them pulling off spectacular endings. I am currently loving Ozark, Dead to Me, Barry, The Righteous Gemstones, Shtisel, and The Great.

If you have any examples of TV series that have amazing endings, I would love to hear them. OR if I am truly missing out by never having finished any of the above shows, I'd like to know, too. 

on writer's block.

Writing a post on writer's block seems a little nonsensical, doesn't it? If I truly had writer's block, I probably wouldn't have anything to say at all - including anything about writer's block itself.

And it's true - I don't actually have writer's block.

I have something else, but I'm not sure what you would call it.

I have "motherhood is physically and emotionally draining, and I can't get myself to write anything worth reading"... block.

Sure, I still have stuff to tell you, but I can't drum up the motivation to write it.

Here's what I do have in me to tell you.

Being a mom is way harder than I ever imagined. 

I love Phineas, of course, but he and I haven't found our groove yet.

He and James have, and I'm happy for them. 

I am not maternal, and Phineas must know that. I have to work ten times harder to do the things that come naturally to James.

My time is coming. Preschool age on up is my time to shine. Kids think I'm really cool then, and I think they're hilarious.

I'm obviously going to keep working my ass off for Phineas even though he doesn't think I'm cool at all yet, but it sure is tough.

Mix in some postpartum depression and a year of COVID isolation, and you've got yourself one bummer of a time. 

I feel like I have to keep repeating this, but I love Phineas... and I miss my old life. I miss the pre-COVID things that are also pre-baby things, like going on vacation or having drinks with friends. I also miss the regular every-day things, like having an actual conversation with James or watching a movie or reading a book.

I used to be into photography. I used to be a beast at making and selling jewelry. Of course, I used to write and write and write this blog. My ambition for creative hobbies has all but evaporated. I feel a little like I've lost my sense of self.

Thank god for work. I have not lost my identity as a librarian, and I am clinging to it with both hands. It's the lifeblood I need right now.

I know you're not supposed to wish your life away, but I'm wishing for this part to be done already.

I feel like a bad mom constantly. I know it's society's manufactured "truths" doing this to me, but I can't help but feel it. Everyone else seems so happy, but the secret to happiness escapes me.

So that's my writer's block. 

I hope you understand.

on trying to cut Target out of my clothing diet.

If you've been reading my "outfits under $35" articles, you know that I have been focusing on buying clothes secondhand and from small businesses versus from big box stores.

If you haven't been reading those articles, I suppose I forgive you.

The long and short of it is Target doesn't need my money. Small businesses do. And we're a nation of "fast fashion" - we buy a shirt, wear it once or twice, then get rid of it.

I am guilty of that, too. Once upon a time - ten years and 30 pounds ago - I shopped at Forever21 and H&M. Classic fast fashion: items that are produced quickly and cheaply. Not meant to last. I would wear them a couple of times, and they'd either fall apart or I would regret my poor decision and put it in the Goodwill pile.

Back in my fresh-out-of-college days, I was a world-champion Goodwill shopper. I had all the time in the world and none of the money in the world. I would spend hours painstakingly sorting through racks and racks of other people's cast-offs in the massive St. Paul Goodwill. 

But then I started to make a little more money and got a little shorter on time. I left my Goodwill habit behind.

The next step from Goodwill was the clearance racks at Target and Maurices. Minnesota companies!

I still was a champion of secondhand, though. One of my all-time favourite places to shop was a place called The Country Peddler in Brookings. They had consignment clothing, and I would take in my old things and shop for new things - and I almost always had credit to spend.

It took me a little longer to come around to boutiques. In my struggling days, they were waaaaaaay out of my price range. It took me a long time to shed that mindset. It took the realization that it was less about the price tag and more about the face behind the store. Someone's dream. I wasn't helping Jeff Bezos buy another island - I was helping someone pay their bills.

So now I'm a die-hard small business supporter. Food, clothing, whatever I can. Small business or bust.

I do still love some good secondhand clothing, though. For that, I have shifted to online thrifting. It's truly the best. I use Poshmark, thredUP, and (to a lesser extend) ebay. These sites are treasure troves of affordable clothing. Purchasing from these sites gives money directly to the people selling items and helps one more item avoid the landfill.

And that's where I am today. I have cut almost all big box stores out of my non-essential shopping. I do still have a weakness for Target and Maurices - but like I said, they're Minnesota companies, so it could be worse. That being said, if you see me on any given day, I can almost guarantee I'm wearing something thrifted, something from a small business, or both.

An example: my top is from a small business, and my jeans are thrifted.

ten outfits under $35, part XVII.

Oh boy.

Have I got some outfits for you.

I mentioned in my last cheap outfit post (a mere two months ago!) that I was refocusing my clothing purchasing on small businesses and secondhand items. And I have been doing just that. 

There are amazing deals on nearly-new items on Poshmark and thredUP... all you have to do is look. In my outfit breakdown, I'll tell you what brand my thrifted item is should it be worth noting (ex: Modcloth via Poshmark).

What I didn't tell you in the last post was that I did actually need new clothes. I had a baby nine months ago, and while I have lost some weight, I am still quite a few pounds off from where I was pre-pregnancy. Even if I do get back to the same weight, my body will never be the same shape again. So many of my pre-pregnancy clothes do not fit my post-pregnancy body.

So not only I have I been buying my new things secondhand, but I have been selling my old clothes online!

https://poshmark.com/closet/callagator1987

It's awesome.

Anyway, enough about that. You're here for the outfits, so let's get to it.

(If you'd like to check out the previous cheap outfit posts, here they are - going back all the way to 2012!)

$40 or less
$30 or less
under $35, part I
under $35, part II
under $35, part III
under $35, part IV
under $35, part V
under $35, part VI 
under $35, part VII
under $35, part VIII
under $35, part IX

under $35, part X  
under $35, part XI 

under $35, part XII 
under $35, part XIII
under $35, part XIV

under $35, part XV 

under $35, part XVI

sweater – THML via thredup – FREE! ($10 off order) 

pants – AE via thredUP – $15.99 ($10 off)

shoes – Poshmark – $15 (damaged)

Lake Poinsett sea glass necklace – Michaels/gift – about $2

TOTAL: $32.99

Now is the time of year when it's not very easy to get a good photo. It's dark when James leaves for work, and it's dark when I get home from work. So many pictures have to be taken after I'm home and it's pitch black outside... so we have to choose some part of the house that's not covered in baby toys. This entire outfit is thrifted except the necklace. But the necklace is made out of a piece of glass I found at Lake Poinsett and a necklace I've had for a million years, so it's upcycled. And the two chairs? Secondhand!! The little stuffed guy and the pillow are from small businesses, as is all the art on the wall.

top – Prairie Mermaid – FREE! (clearance + $5 gift card)

jeans – Levis via thredUP – $9.99 ($10 off)

Peruvian opal earrings – Etsy – about $4 for supplies

shoes – Modcloth via Poshmark – $20

TOTAL: $33.99

 As you know, The Prairie Mermaid is one of my favourite small businesses. Angie (the owner) has amazing stuff, and she has amazing sales. This shirt was on clearance for $5, and Angie had sent me a $5 gift card... so here we are! The jeans have little black flowers embroidered on them. You'll often see the notation "$10 off" behind my thredUP purchases. ThredUP works on a point reward system, and you earn points for purchasing things or mailing in a bag of your own unwanted clothes for them to sell. They're quite generous with their points, so I've been earning $10 rewards all over the place.

cardigan – Lacoste via Poshmark – $5.51 (was $20, used credit)

pants – thredUP – $16.99

booties – DSW – FREE! (was $80, had coupons/discounts)

necklace – Modcloth – $12.50 (on sale + 50% off coupon)

TOTAL: $35

As a librarian, it's my sworn duty to have a closet full of cardigans. I know it's corny, but I love the little embroidered alligator on Lacoste stuff. I think it's adorable. I would never buy a new Lacoste item, as it's ridiculously expensive. I also don't like polos, which is their main export. So I found this cardigan on Poshmark and paid for most of it with credit I had in my account from selling something to someone else. It's the circle of life.

jumpsuit – thredUP – $26.99

shoes – DSW – FREE! (was $90, all sorts of coupons/discounts)

bumble bee jasper & crescent earrings – Etsy – about $8 for supplies

TOTAL: $34.99

I wish you could see my earrings better. I made them, and I think they're super cool. Anyway, as you may remember from my last outfit post, I am obsessed with jumpsuits. I wasn't sure if I was going to look too much like an Army mechanic in this one, but if I do, I don't care. I love it so much.

sweatshirt – Betsey Johnson via Poshmark – $10

jeans – Loft via Poshmark – $25

booties – DSW – FREE! (buy one pair of shoes, get one free)

"lake time" necklace – gift from Mom and Dad

TOTAL: $35

Poshmark and thredUP have allowed me to inexpensively explore some trends, such as sailor-style jeans. Most jeans with this kind of accent are expensive, but not if you get them secondhand. And it turns out I love sailor jeans.

jumpsuit – Modcloth via thredUP – $22.99

shoes – Modcloth via – $12

TOTAL: $34.99

I hate this picture. Please forgive me. I was trying to think of something different to do rather than stand somewhere in our house with my hand on my hip as usual, and this is what I came up with. I didn't look at the picture until the next day, when my jumpsuit was in a crumpled pile in the laundry basket. Oh well. 

top – Prairie Mermaid – $15 ($15 gift card)

jeans – Express via Poshmark – $20

shoes - gift from Darrah

cat earrings – gift from Mom and Dad

TOTAL: $35

Hey look! More sailor jeans! And check out the sleeves on this top - are they not the coolest things you've ever seen?

dress – Kindred People – $32 (clearance)

booties – DSW – FREE! (buy one pair of shoes, get one free)

TOTAL: $32

I got this dress in a boutique in Alexandria, Minnesota called Kindred People. It's such a cool place with tons of clothes and Minnesota-themed gifts. I am a huge fan of the midi-length dress and was delighted to find this on the clearance rack.

top – Modcloth via Poshmark – $10

jeans – Driftwood via Poshmark – $25

booties – DSW – FREE! (was $80, had coupons/discounts)

pewter Scandinavian earrings – gift from Mom and Dad

TOTAL: $35

THIS TOP. It's got cats all over it, and the collar is a cat. It's so awesome. Poshmark and thredUP have allowed me to obtain embroidered jeans, which are also crazy expensive if you buy them new. This particular brand runs somewhere in the neighborhood of $130 if you buy them new. No way am I ever paying $130 for a pair of jeans.

jumpsuit – Prairie Mermaid – FREE! (had some sewing)

shoes – Modcloth – $29.99

glass pearls and Lake Poinsett sea glass necklace – Etsy/gift – about $3 for supplies

TOTAL: $32.99

Ok, let me tell you more about how amazing Angie at the Prairie Mermaid is. I had just purchased this gorgeous deep purple thrifted jumpsuit from her, and I opened my package to find this one inside, too. The note from Angie said it was also thrifted, but had a small rip at the shoulder seam. Could I fix it and get some use out of it? Red is my favourite colour, and we all know jumpsuits are my favourite type of clothing, so YES. My sewing is terrible, but the rip was so small that no one will notice. My necklace is an incredible set of vintage glass pearls (1960s, I'd say) from one of my mom's friends. I added the sea glass and the little brass piece, and now it's everything I could want in a necklace.

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That takes care of another edition of outfits under $35! As always, stay tuned for more. Every one of my outfits EXCEPT ONE had at least something thrifted. Next time - mark my words - it will be all of them.