questions.

Last night, as I lay awake during a bout of insomnia, I started thinking. And I have some questions. Let me know if you have the answers, would you?

When did pumpkin spice get to be so divisive?

Why has Christmas stuff been in stores for months already?

How do you find the perfect red lipstick? I have SO MANY red lipsticks, but they're too orange or too pink or they rub off too fast...

What's the deal with middle names? Why do we have them?

Who was the first person to decide that eating eggs was ok? Like, "I'm going to eat this hard round thing that came out of this chicken"? Seriously? 

When did I start saying "mm-bye" on my business phone calls? So Midwestern!

What will be the thing we'll have in 50 years that we can't imagine living life without?

Why do some people hate the word "moist"? I don't have a problem with it, but I do hate the word "hubby"...


How many people end up with their dream job? Do you have yours?

Will I ever stop being annoyed when someone calls me Mrs. Jarvie?

Does anybody actually like listening to Kenny G, or does he just exist as a joke?

When do I start to feel like I'm an adult who has her shit together?

Will I ever become a morning person? I would like to be one, but I like sleeping too much.

Why do so many of us live in a place where winter often takes the place of spring and fall as well?

Where is your paradise? I think mine might be Lake Poinsett.

Who was your first crush? Mine was/is Leonardo DiCaprio.

Is patience one of those "you have it or you don't" kind of things, or is there the possibility of me magically gaining some later in life?

Will I ever get to travel all the places I want to go?

Does a creepy person know he or she is creepy?

What exactly does my cat think of me?

Where do I go from here?

Remember when you could eat candy all day, every day? Those might have been the best years of our lives.

Will I ever care deeply about the state of my lawn like my retired neighbors do?

How many of us are using our undergraduate degrees?

Will songs ever mean so much to us as they did when we were seventeen?

Is this who I'm supposed to be?

Thanks for listening.